Have you ever felt guilty for counting your blessings after witnessing someone else's pain or tragedy?
I recently had a woman share with me that she felt guilty for embracing the good in her own life after she left the home of her dying friend. She felt as though she was cheating somehow because her gratitude came at the expense of someone else's misfortune.
I remember feeling similarly after cancer and blindness taught my brother a new perspective about gratitude, and I was benefiting from his valuable life lessons without "paying the price" or having to sacrifice in the same way as my brother.
Ironically, my brother once said, "It takes a lot more effort to live a life filled with gratitude for what you have when don't have the painful experience of having lost it." He too felt like he was somehow cheating because he didn't believe it was much of a choice to find gratitude for what good he had left in his life, because he learned the hard way how quickly it all could go away. He felt sad that he couldn't see how good his life was before his terminal diagnosis, and that he wasted valuable time focusing on the struggles and stress in his life.
We all have experienced difficult things in our lives, and we usually want to help others avoid the pain that we have gone through. I have found that this feeling is no different when someone is dying or dealing with a life threatening illness. Many people have shared that it helps them find purpose in their suffering if they can help others through the process.
I know for myself, I will do whatever I can to help one other couple avoid the pain of divorce, or to encourage someone else to be proactive with their health as to avoid a worse diagnosis, or to urge them to share their gratitude for those they love not knowing for certain that they will be there tomorrow.
My years of working in the Emergency Room, and my time helping people die, has taught me that the greatest gift we can give to our selves, and those that teach us through their pain, is to embrace gratitude for each and every blessing in our life. I believe that the greatest respect we can give to those who have suffered or experienced tragedy, is to learn from the lessons they can teach us.
I challenge you to pause for a moment, and despite your circumstances, think about five things you are grateful for...if you are having difficulty thinking of something, you can start with the blessing of being able to see the words you are reading.
Gratitude for the simple things remind us to keep life's struggles in perspective.